Dear Children's Hospital....what are you thankful for this week?

It’s inspired by the delightful ThxThxThx blog, “a daily exercise in gratitude” where US creative director Leah Dietrich writes a daily thank-you note to something in her life.

When the aptly named shit-fuck-truck pulls up outside your door or flattens you unexpectedly, there can be a moment of respite in searching for the benefit. Admittedly, it’s not always evident and is often dwarfed by the damn truck. Fuck that truck. But since first reading Leah’s blog and starting this post here on Mamamia, I’ve found myself automatically wondering how I could frame a thank-you note in a shitty situation.

Here are a couple of examples from Leah’s blog from this week:

And here is my thank you note….

Dear 4-hr Wait At The Children’s Hospital,

Thank you for giving me time to think about all the children who don’t have access to free emergency medical treatment. During the hours I sat in the waiting room with my child who had tummy pains, I was able to imagine what it must be like for parents who live in countries where such an amazing service is not available to them and how terrifying and devastating this must be. And as my child eventually fell asleep on my lap, I realised that in the scheme of things, we were pretty damn lucky.

Mia x

PS – child is fine. So also thanks to tummy pains for being nothing serious.

Also a thank you note this week from Mandy*

We were all saddened when Mandy* wrote in describing how her husband had left her with three small children and no remorse

Mandy* has written to update us on her situation and to thank you for your amazing advice

Firstly I would like to start by thanking the Mamamia community for embracing me with their kindness and for imparting their wisdom.  I read over the post many times and tucked away so many pearls of wisdom that not only gave me confidence but empowered me to see the situation with a lot more clarity.

So…

My husband and I met on the fateful Thursday evening and it did not go well.  I outlined to him that for me to work on our marriage and to take steps towards salvaging it, he needed to show an appropriate level of remorse and regret for what he had done.  He is remorseful but in an “I forgot to pick up the bread on the way home” kind of way.  Nowhere near enough to make me think he is desperate to be reunited with his family and that he understands the pain he has put us through.  He is not and he does not.  He has emotionally checked out.  Shortly after our meeting, he informed my sister he was in love with this other woman.  So why did he bother coming to discuss our future?  Why the kiss?  He does not understand the gravity of what he has done and I doubt that he ever will.  He never gave our marriage a chance.  I liken him to a derailed freight train – full steam ahead on a path to nowhere good.  I almost feel for this woman that has now become involved with him.

I attended counselling the week after our meeting.  My counsellor felt very strongly that my husband has what is called Narcissistic Personality Disorder.  This basically means that he will always place a higher value on himself and his happiness to everything else.  She stated that his complete lack of empathy is a classic sign and the fact he is an intelligent, successful business man was no surprise to her.  She said more often than not, you find them at the top of their game in business.  They get caught up in their own self importance.  My counsellor is helping me with some strategies in moving forward and accepting the situation.

I have my good days and my bad days.  On my bad days I grieve for my family unit.  For the ‘normal’ daily routines of family life.  They seemed so unremarkable at the time, but I would do anything to get them back.  On my bad days, I wish I didn’t love, care for and miss him so much.  I still do although I know this isn’t reciprocated.  I am still in denial that he has done this.  On my good days, I feel thankful for the many people who have supported me in person and online.  I may not have realised  the extent of their love and support had I not gone through this.  On my good days, I feel grateful that I have a new chance at life – a chance to start afresh and I will never compromise on anything that is less than ideal for myself or my children in moving forward!  With the benefit of life experience, my eyes are wide open and I am ready and waiting for what life throws my way!

I know my journey will still be hard for some time yet.  Our dream house will be put on the market next week.  This will be heartbreaking.  Very, very difficult.  Another emotional stumbling block will be the legal process.  This has now commenced and I can see how immensely expensive and stressful the process will be.  I also anticipate he will move in with this woman at some point and my kids will no doubt meet her *eek*.  I will just put on my brave face, soldier on and remember that I am better off without him.

A special thanks to KwikyK, Flutterby, Chillisauce, Amber, Anon this time, Similar Boat, Struggling, Jayma, Bookworm, Jean, Mel and L Plates for divulging details of your personal situations in an effort to help me understand mine.  I could relate to you on many levels. I understand the time and emotional energy this must have taken, and I am extremely grateful for it.  One last thank you to Eliza for her writing on the post numerous times with concern !

You are a strong bunch.

Mandy * xxoo

Who or what do YOU want to write a thankyou note to this week?

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