‘When the world goes baby-crazy, I think of the angels I lost.’

VIDEO: Jessica Rowe is searingly honest about her Post Natal Depression.
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VIDEO: Jessica Rowe is searingly honest...

I have a good reason not to be besotted.

I groaned in 2011 when the Royal wedding between Kate and William overshadowed my own wedding moment just a month before – didn’t they know that Spring 2011 was my time?

I found out that I was pregnant with my first child just months after getting married. When my son arrived, I basked in all of the new parent-ness, learning how to care for my son and neglecting to care for myself. I spent those first 8 sleepless months shuffling throughout my days, wondering if I’d ever be able to sleep for more than two hours at a clip. Once my son began sleeping, I started to get the itch to have another child; I got pregnant on the first go.

lauren miscarriage 2 feat
Lauren had multiple miscarriages after the birth of her first son. Image via Instagram.

 

A month after finding out I was expecting another child, news outlets began reporting non-stop about Kate Middleton’s Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG). I couldn’t watch the news, go on the internet, or even chat in my mum groups without hearing about Kate Middleton’s  hype. I groaned inwardly, yet again, that the Royal couple were creating a media frenzy during another important moment of mine; again, I felt that my pregnancy was being overshadowed with Royal celebrity and non-stop speculation – seriously, I didn’t want to hear about some stranger’s pregnancy ad nauseam (tee hee) throughout the entirety of my own.

Keep reading: A Mamamia reader tells what Hyperemesis Gravidarum feels like. Gulp.

When I lost that baby, I lost the sense of celebrity overshadowing, and gained a sense of bitterness towards Kate’s pregnancy glow. Waves of emotion hit even harder when that Royal baby was born – a reminder of what I had lost.

As with all things, life goes on and the dust settles over over-hyped news stories, as some other celebrity gets pregnant, has a child, releases photos of her breastfeeding, etcetera, etcetera. When the Royal prince was born, I had a few bittersweet moments, remembering that first baby I had lost.

I went on to have another miscarriage, lost hope for some time, battled PPD and came out on the other, sunnier side of things. I also found out I was pregnant for the fourth time.

Yes, George came to visit. Image credit: (Chris Jackson/Getty Images)
Kate leaves the hospital with baby Charlotte. Image via Instagram.

 

As most women, who have suffered one or more miscarriages, tend to be, I was cautiously optimistic about my pregnancy. That optimism increased when I began to experience bouts of nausea, a promising sign as I’d not experienced morning sickness in my other pregnancies. A month or so after finding out I was pregnant, news surfaced that Kate Middleton was again pregnant, learning early because of her bout with HG. Inward groan. Seriously?

When I lost my third baby, I knew what to expect in the coming months, knew that progress reports on the Royal baby and Kate Middleton’s health would be intermittent reminders of yet another loss.

When I heard the news of the Royal baby’s birth, the same day my angel baby was due, I took a moment of silence toremember yet another of my angels, but please forgive me if I don’t fawn all over the Royal princess.

Read this: For every woman feeling melancholy at the Royal baby news.

Lauren B. Stevens frequently writes about parenting and women’s issues on her blog, lo-wren.com, and writes research-based parenting articles for Care.com. Lauren’s essays have appeared online on The Huffington Post and Mamapedia, as well as being published in several Anthologies. Lauren shares a humorous take on her experience with PPD in the recently published, Surviving Mental Illness Through Humor.

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