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"The problem with Married at First Sight's Dave has nothing to do with his love for Jess."

 

You don’t have to watch Married at First Sight to know that you absolutely would not want to be Dave today.

Just after the episode aired last night, one of Australia’s largest media publications ran with the headline “The biggest douchebag on TV“, accompanied by a close up of Dave’s face.

Viewers were outraged by how Dave treated his fake experimental wife, Jess.

After she opened up about her body insecurities, he simply replied  “Always? You’re never going to get over it?”

Later, in a piece to camera he said “To be honest, it’s quite disappointing”, and women everywhere felt very sorry that Dave was disappointed by their thoughts and feelings.

Happy birthday, @behatiprinsloo!

A photo posted by Victoria’s Secret (@victoriassecret) on

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We just can’t for the life of us work out why a woman would feel insecure in a bikini…HOW COULD THAT BE?

But that wasn’t all. Dave said he doesn’t know if he can see her “physical attraction”, and suggested he would end it once the honeymoon is over.

They then went surfing together and Dave left Jess alone in the ocean.

And then he commentated the cricket, but appeared irritated when she asked questions. Then he said the conversation seemed “forced” which is inevitable when only one of the parties is actually doing any of the talking.

During the episode, many-a-shoe were thrown at the television.

But I’d argue that last night’s reaction wasn’t so much about Dave the person, as it is about what Dave represents.

Especially to women who know what it’s like to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t seem to like them all that much.

There was something awfully familiar about Jess opening up about her deepest insecurities, and having Dave look at her like this.

"Huh?" Image via Channel 9.
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There was something familiar about watching Jess make jokes to a man who didn't laugh.

And there was something painfully familiar about her desperate attempts at small talk, after long gaps of silence.

Perhaps our reaction wasn't actually about Dave at all. Perhaps it was about Jess.

Any woman who has spent a few years dating, knows all too well the feeling of being in the company of someone who is distracted or disinterested.

I have seen many women, and been the woman, at the receiving end of a jab intended to embarrass us.  The kind of comment about your career, or your hobbies, or your beliefs, that is, simply put, mean.

You feel as though nothing you say is important or interesting. You hear the words come out of your mouth, which in Jess' case was her feigned interest in cricket, and think "What the hell am I even talking about?"

We dissected Married at First Sight on this week's episode of The Binge. Post continues below.

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The nature of human interaction is such that our performance is very much dependent upon our audience. Give us a "bad crowd" and we lose our confidence. We trip over our words. We stop making jokes, or we start making bad ones.

I'd argue that there are few things worse for your self esteem than being in the company of people who don't really like you. Who find you irritating. Who aren't attracted to you.

And that is what we witnessed last night. Confident, loud, bubbly, gorgeous, fun Jess, spend too much time with a man who saw none of those things. Not because they weren't there, but because they weren't for him.

To be clear, we cannot 'blame' Dave for not falling for Jess.

One cannot help who they like, and although physical attraction sounds superficial, it has it's part to play in chemistry.

Dave does not have to like Jess. But he does have to respect her.

It might have been kinder if Dave left before his disinterest in Jess became transparent.

Whether someone remains a love interest or not, they still deserve to be treated like a human being, rather than an irritating sidekick.

I think their relationship stimulated so much anger, not because it was completely unbelievable.

But because of just how believable it was.

You can listen to the full episode of The Binge, here.