Crazy but true babysitter stories

As loving parents, we do everything we can to ensure that we leave our kids with the best caregivers.

But even the most cautious mums have survived babysitting nightmares. You come home to a sitter who’s trying to get to second base with her boyfriend or reeks of alcohol. But that kind of teenage misbehavior looks tame compared to the terrible tales we’ve rounded up. From broken laws and stolen clothes to scary conspiracy theories, here are 18 completely crazy babysitter stories…

1. Don’t pass out…

“We had a sitter tell us after we returned home from dinner one evening that everything went well, and thankfully she hadn’t had any fainting spells while we were gone. Say what?! Evidently she had been passing out lately — and her doctor wasn’t sure why. Um- maybe she could have told us this little tidbit before we had left the kids in her care?” –Jamie

"We once had a sitter that would bring toy catalogues to our house and ask the kids to look through them and pick out toys. She thought this would be a fun activity for them to do. The problem was…  my kids actually thought that she was going to buy them all of the items they had circled! It took me awhile to piece together why they couldn't wait for this sitter to come back!" - Megan

3. The young and the… horny

"Our 13-year-old sitter and neighbour bought porn on our Pay Per View. I found out after the fact, when the cable bill came." - Stephanie

4. The check-out

"While I was out, the sitter checked into the gym. I saw it on Facebook - twice! I called the second time and she was unapologetic about leaving our four-month-old with another sitter!" – Jacoba

5. Double trouble

"I put my identical twin boys in a daycare when they were 9 months old and the childcare workers couldn't tell them apart. The first day they wrote on their forehead with a ball point pen. The second day they wrote on their hands. The third day they wrote on their shirts with permanent marker. I switched daycares ASAP!" –Meisha

6. Public display of objection

"I had a babysitter show up for an interview and her jeans were cut so low that when she stretched to redo her hair (and how often do long-haired teenage girls redo their hair? Every ten minutes), her pubic hair showed over the top of her jeans! That was the end of her. Who's she trying to impress, my 6-year-old son?"— Jennifer

7. Nannies gone wild

“When my son was 1 to 3, I went through four au pairs. They were all good in different ways, but a bit crazy, too. With one, we found a vibrator in her room while it was being cleaned. With another, she asked me what local men's dating preferences were, i.e. was it ‘normal’ for them to ask for ‘the back door action’ on their first romantic encounter.”—Chris

8. Crazy cat lady

“When my kids were 3 and 7, I had a babysitter who turned out to be schizophrenic. She told me that there were human-sized black cats in the apartment across the street, sharpening their knives. She saw them through the window.”—Drew

“A babysitter allowed my son to give his sister a double dose of the albuterol inhaler that I'd left on the kitchen counter. True, it's her medicine, but she wasn't having an asthma attack, and who lets a 5-year-old administer medicine to his 2-year-old sister? We came home, and he was all like, ‘Hey guess what!? I gave L some medicine, and the babysitter said it was okay!’”—Roseanne

10. Climate change… of clothes

“My husband came home to find our 5-month-old son wearing several shirts, three pairs of pants and a jacket, swaddled tightly in a heavy blanket, sitting in his infant seat in front of a roaring fire, with the thermostat turned up to 85 degrees! We told the sitter that too much heat was dangerous for babies, and that just one set of clothes, a comfortable thermostat temperature and maybe a light blanket or sheet at naptime would suffice. We came home the next day to find all the heat turned off, our baby half-naked and the oven on with the door open, all burners on the stove roaring in order to heat the apartment.”—Teri

11. Here comes the bribe

“We came home at 11:30pm (earlier than we had said we would) to find our 4-year-old up watching TV with the babysitter. Her defense? ‘He bribed me!’ and I was like, ‘With what? Legos?’” –Christen

12. The Babysitters' (Drinking) Club

“We left our kids, 5, 3 and 2, with one babysitter and came home to three drunken teens. They had polished off the better part of a vodka bottle, and our trash was littered with other empties. When I mentioned what happened to the sitter’s mother, she claimed they were just ‘cleaning out’ her daughter’s car. I didn't find it an improvement that our uninvited guests had a car full of empty liquor bottles!”—Katie

13. No cancer do

“I had a babysitter who claimed that she was almost mugged every time she had to take the train back home from our apartment, so we’d always have to either drive her home (that meant no drinking on date night) or pay $40 extra for her to take a cab. When she gave her notice, she said she had a brain tumour and could die! She's not dead; she’s happy and healthy according to her Facebook statuses.”—Carol

“We had one sitter who talked on her cell phone about every detail of fooling around with her boyfriend in front of our kids, who were 3 and 8. She even answered their questions along the way! Oh and by the way, she was only 14.”—Rivka

15. Bad lock

“Our babysitter went to go put something in her car and left our 18-month-old in his playpen. When she tried to get back in, she realized she’d locked herself out of the house. So she went next door to the neighbors who tried to help her, and finally called me to come home from work and let her in about an hour later. All was fine, but she never did that again.”—Julie

16. Pamper-free zone

“I had a night job so I would bathe my 1-year-old son and put him to sleep before the sitter came over. When I came home at sun up, he’d still be in the same nappy, soaking wet. She never changed his nappy!”—Sonyka

17. Deal breaker

“I almost hired a babysitter until I called her reference who said, ‘Oh, she's fine, just don't talk politics.’ With a little more prodding, I discovered this seemingly lovely 22-year-old girl was a conspiracy theorist who believed that the government was responsible for 9/11. Needless to say, I didn't hire her.”—Marisa

18. Porn on the job 

“We hired the son of a friend to babysit our two sons and two daughters, ranging in age from 2 to 7. A few weeks later, the phone bill came and there were charges for $60 for two calls to questionable services at 11:30pm. They were some kind of porn service. I immediately checked my calendar and saw that he had been babysitting for us that night. He came back and babysat for free for several nights to pay off his debt.”—Susan

19. Out of con-text

“When my daughter was 6, I got a text from my babysitter that said, "donz smack down that girl, shut her face." Clearly the text was not intended for me, but I raced home from work and confronted her. She apologised profusely and said she was just joking around with another babysitter. But I had to explain to her that it was not okay. We never used her again.”—Carrie

“When my child was 6 weeks old, I was interviewing babysitters in preparation for returning to work. I spoke to a woman on the phone who seemed like a perfect fit. She spoke Spanish and could help teach my children the language. When "she" came for the interview in my home, I kept thinking, this is not the person I spoke to on the phone. Finally I confronted her and she admitted that I had actually spoken to her sister, and that they would be "splitting" the job. Needless to say I didn't hire her...or rather, them.”—Yvonne