It’s a little ironic that I am writing this article while everyone in my office has departed for the annual Christmas drink-a-thon in the City. But before you think I’m wallowing in misery from not being able to slam back four or five sav blancs while chowing down on shrimp twizzlers, hear me out.
I’m not new to this game, I’ve been to this rodeo before. As with most mums, my first pregnancy was full of excitement. I proudly showed off my bump, virtuously turned down offers of champagne, gracefully turned away from the platters of Camembert with will power I never knew I had. That shit was easy because I was determined to be unlike the ‘other’ mum I’d heard of. No complaining here, I was carrying LIFE! I ceased to exist as an ordinary human, I was PREGNANT. God help anyone who assumed I was going to whinge at the heat, the swelling, and the slow but sure decline of invitations to social events.
So maybe it’s the years between pregnancies. Maybe I am a little older, a little more beaten down from life, and likely a little more reliant on wine and food for comfort. But this pregnancy sucks.
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So many nasty people on here! Just because you might have sailed through pregnancy or you are experiencing something harder like infertility it doesn't lessen this persons feelings/experience - especially if she is linking it to depression. I understand the way she is feeling, it's being surrounded by people but feeling utterly isolated. It's not just not being able to eat/drink certain things, it's a combination of hormones, losing your sense of self, not being able to participate, being treated like a vessel instead of a person, people looking right through you, treating you like a child/fragile being, not engaging in intelligent/challenging conversations only baby talk, etc. I feel some people relish the role of being pregnant, the attention they get, the feeling etc - but there are others whose experience is completely different, I usually feel it's the type a people who are used to being in control and having a high sense of worth/independence/good careers - the realities of pregnancy and constant sacrifice that comes with having kids comes as quite a shock.
Interesting how most people reading this have missed the point. It's not about the wine and cheese and Christmas cheer. It's about perinatal depression and what impact that has on someone during pregnancy and how at this time of year it can probably be exacerbated by feeling left out.