Did you feel distressed rather than elated after the birth of your baby because things didn’t go entirely according to plan?
Research shows around 40% of mums didn’t bond with their babies immediately after birth because of complications during delivery.
Enter the rebirth ceremony.
Rebirth ceremonies are designed to make up for the lack of bonding that took place at the actual birth. Mums are choosing to have these ceremonies to focus on bonding with their babies and healing any negative energy left over from traumatic births.
Some families are choosing to organise elaborate ceremonies. Others simply add some minerals and flowers into a bath and spend time just relaxing with their babies, taking photos to remember the special time.
Tirren and Steve met their beautiful twin daughters in a way they hadn’t expected, so they sought a rebirth ceremony together with their doula, Nicole. Nicole writes at Spring Photography:
Tirren had been told that she was best to have a caesarian birth, due to placenta previa, and so, together, we planned for a really positive, beautiful and ‘natural’ caesarean.
Tirren’s twins had other plans however, and they decided that enough was enough in utero and at 32 weeks they were trying to exit! After a hectic time of hospitals, flights to Perth and trying to make sure Steve flew in on time, the babies were delivered at 32 weeks 6 days – thankfully they were perfect in every way! After a few weeks in hospital, and when they were all settled at home, we performed our herbal bath rebirth ceremony together.
A rebirth ceremony is done after a mother experiences a birth that was not her original plan – whether it be an emergency caesarean, a vaginal birth with lots of intervention, or even a natural birth that just wasn’t like the mother expected it was going to be.
We spend some time reminiscing about the pregnancy, and the mother’s thoughts and feelings towards her babies, and run a herbal bath with a generous amount of healing herbs and beautiful flower petals. We light candles and put on soothing music. And the mother sinks into the bath, holds her baby in her arms, and we pour blessings upon her little one, and tell the baby how loved, wanted and special she is, and how hard her mother worked to have a peaceful birth for her baby. Then the mother takes her baby down into the water (head above the water, of course!) and brings her up to her chest, like you would in a water birth. It can be a very healing and beautiful ceremony.
When we did this with Tirren and her babies, there were tears in every eye in the room – and we were amazed as both the babies cried a short newborn cry as they were caught up in their mother’s arms. It was just perfect.
The reality is that childbirth rarely goes to plan, despite some detailed birth plans being laminated and delivered to obstetricians. There are so many unknowns. When the birth is difficult on the mother, she can often feel to traumatised to bond properly with her baby. It can take days and weeks for that bond to become established. When it does kick in, it calls for a celebration because there's nothing more beautiful than a mother-child bond.
Its such a lovely idea to be able to correct those first few moments of motherhood. That is the beauty of being a parent...there isn't much that can't be helped by a prolonged embrace.
What do you think of "rebirthing" - a lovely experience for mums & bubs, or just added pressure for perfect births ?
Image credit: Spring Photography