It’s been a big week in politics, with scandals and controversy galore. So we don’t blame you for clicking through to this page, for a bit of light reading. Welcome to our collection of this week’s fluff. Sit back and have a scroll through. If anyone asks, we’ll say that you’re reading the political commentary. We promise.
1. Photoshop fails. Photoshop fails, everywhere!
This week, a poster promoting a new Hollywood blockbuster was released. It stars two household names – we’re talking big budget mega-star actresses – but you will not guess in a million years who one of them is.
Why? She’s been photo-shopped to buggery.
Let’s play a little game… Do you recognise this woman?
Yep. Us neither. No. Earthly. Idea. Who. That. Lady. Might. Be.
Now let’s look at the entire poster…
Yes, that is Melissa McCarthy.
Or shall we say – an extremely Photoshopped version of Melissa McCarthy. What has happened to her neck? What has happened to her head? Why are her neck and face seemingly detached and bathed in a yellow-light-bad-retouching-glow, usually reserved for child beauty pageant head shots? Why are both her head and neck so significantly out of proportion with her body?
For comparative purposes- let’s look at some non-photoshopped pictures of Melissa McCarthy:
She looks lovely. Absolutely lovely. And also like a human being – unlike her poster.
And just when we’d taken off our outrage pants, we had to pull them back on because the same outrageous thing happened to bootylicious Beyonce, in a press release from designer Roberto Cavalli.
Will everyone just stop messing with female celebrities bodies/heads/faces?
The photo above (left) was sent out in a press release by the Roberto Cavalli fashion house featuring Beyonce in an incredible multi-coloured cut-out silk gown designed exclusively for the Mrs. Carter Show World Tour.
The problem? Beyonce’s body (an illustration) has been stretched out of proportion, elongated, slimmed down and her curves nipped in. She looks like a Bratz doll crossed with four bendy match sticks.
Cue: social media outrage.
Fashion illustrations often elongate the female form but Beyonce fans seem to have a problem with the realism of the digital illustration.
One commentator wrote: “If this is supposed to be a sketch of Beyonce why not actually draw Beyonce instead of some imaginative image which fits the status quo for sickly looking run way models??”
The team at Roberto Cavalli have since posted this response on their Facebook page:
“Dear Fans, We would like to clarify that the image of the gown created by Roberto Cavalli for Beyoncé is a sketch and not a photo, and therefore it is only meant to be a stylized and artistic vision.
Roberto Cavalli loves women and more than anyone else has always exalted and highlighted the female shape with his creations, building his signature style on the glorification of sensuality and femininity.”
Seriously – fail. Giant. Photoshop. Fail. You can do better Hollywood.
We make a habit of collecting photoshop fails, you can see more of them here:
Katy Perry with two left hands
1. Could these be the most hilarious (and cringe-worthy) break up letters ever? Click here to make up your mind.
But she’s handled it so well. All class, that lady.
In case you missed it, a
critic douche-canoe who reviewed McCarthy’s recent film Identity Thief for The New York Observer caused an uproar when he called the fabulous actress ‘a hippo’ and ‘tractor-sized’. He also went on to say that she’s “devoted her short career to being obese and obnoxious with equal success.” (Not true, by the way – she had a very long and successful stint on Gilmore Girls in which her weight wasn’t mentioned once, but whatevs.)
McCarthy stayed quiet about the whole nasty thing. Until now.
Yesterday in The New York Times, McCarthy was asked about the comments and this is what she had to say:
I felt really bad for someone who is swimming in so much hate. I just thought, that’s someone who’s in a really bad spot, and I am in such a happy spot. I laugh my head off every day with my husband and my kids who are mooning me and singing me songs.
The Times goes on:
Had this occurred when she was 20, Ms. McCarthy said, “it may have crushed me.” But now, as a mother raising two young daughters in “a strange epidemic of body image and body dysmorphia,” she said articles like that “just add to all those younger girls, that are not in a place in their life where they can say, ‘That doesn’t reflect on me.’ ”
Your move, douche canoe.
4. Sorry to break it to you, but there’s a good chance you’ve been saying Charlize Theron’s name wrong her entire career. Click here for more tricky celebrity names and how to pronounce them.
5. Um, Brad Pitt, you’re doing it wrong.
You might have seen the footage of The Project teamsters Carrie Bickmore, Charlie Pickering and Dave Hughes interviewing megastar Brad Pitt while he was here promoting his new movie World War Z in Sydney this week.
In case you missed it, in short they – understandably - came across a little starstruck during the interview and Brad Pitt ate Vegemite for the first time.
But Brad Pitt? You’re doing it wrong.
Everyone knows that as an Australian ambassador it’s your job to ensure visitors to our fine country DO NOT eat it by the spoonful (unless you really dislike said person) alas it’s not the hosts fault.
Watch Carrie Bickmore below running to find a cracker (um, was she going to swim ashore for it?) for Brad Pitt and well, he immediately asks for a beer to wash it down.
6. Ever thought to add peanut butter to your cheeseburger? Or use a glazed donut as the bun? Neither have we. But some people have – check out this gallery of wacky burgers.
Is there anything Prince Harry can’t do? Oh yeah, he’ll probably never be the King of England but we digress.
A gay soldier has revealed that the Royal ‘saved’ him from being beaten. Swoon.
Trooper James Wharton revealed in a book extract published by The Mail, “I think I’m about to be murdered by the infantry” to Prince Harry who was his tank commander at the time for bragging about ‘scoring’ with another male soldier.
Prince Harry reportedly said: “Right, I’m going to sort this shit out once and for all.”
“Harry climbed out of the tank and started having a go,” said Trooper Wharton.
“He wasn’t holding back. Prince Harry was sticking up for me and putting a stop to the trouble.
“I had been on track for a battering and had been rescued.”
Prince Harry told him: “I told those other lads to back the f–k off.”
Wharton had previously been hospitalised after a vicious beating by a fellow soldier in London.
8. It seems some men will go to any lengths to emulate George Clooney. Click here to read about the intimate cosmetic surgery trend he’s inspired…
9. The Voice heats up.
The Semi Finals kicked off this week with an epic coaches’ performance of Ricky Martin’s Livin La Vida Loca.
And Delta Goodrem sure shook her La Vida Loca all over the stage.
Sequins and booty shaking aside, the final four were decided from audience voting with Team Ricky’s Miss Murphy, Team Delta’s Steve Clisby, Team Seal’s Mitchell Anderson and the controversy of the night, Team Joel’s Kiyomi Vella all being sent home.
The finale will screen on Monday night and the reportedly two frontrunners to take out the title are Harrison Craig and Luke Kennedy.
10. Johnny Depp turned 50 recently. Yep – FIFTY. And you won’t believe which other Hollywood hunks are set to blow out 50 candles this year…
11. While The Voice’s host proves that he’s way too cool for school.
At yesterday’s announcement of Cleo’s Bachelor of the Year awards, all the hopeful contestants were wearing a uniform of white shirt and jeans.
All except one.
Darren McMullen was the only finalist dressed in black – insisting that he didn’t get the memo.
According to reports however, Cleo editor Sharry Markson insists otherwise: “We dropped the Guess outfit off to Darren yesterday. Maybe it didn’t fit! Either way, he looked great in black jeans.”
The annual award ended up going to Bondi Rescue Lifeguard Trent Maxwell.
12. Ready to have your life changed? These 25 life hacks will make your life so much simpler. Click here.
13. Is this the best thing floating around the interwebs this week? We think so.