A recent study revealed that women these days would prefer a promotion to a proposal. In fact a whopping 66 per cent of single Aussies said so. As a 26-year-old ambitious female, I understand why. It’s not to say that women these days don’t want to get married and have lost all tradition. Quite the opposite. Tradition is still alive and kicking. But we are living in the age of wanting it all and seeing from others that it is possible. Thanks to the beauties of social media and being able to share our lives with strangers, females are seeing other women conquer the world and are wanting a taste of it too.
Many of us still want to be a princess for a day in a big white dress, but what lies beyond our perfect day, a life of marriage is only just one part of the fairy tale. When my mother was my age, being married represented the ultimate happiness. She was an educated woman with a career but also felt fulfilled being a wife and mother. I was also once in a long term relationship, looking down the road of marriage, but it was not enough. (It also wasn’t the right person). It’s not that I don’t want to get married, it’s that I want to be more than a wife and mother, This is not to discredit those who do feel fulfilled being a wife and a mother but it does mean that there is now a population of women who feel it is not enough, me being one of them. We are all different and all want different things in our lives, but for those of us wanting the career as well, the proposal can wait.
I support those who do want to prolong their engagement. To me commitment is someone saying they love you and want to be with you, not necessarily spending the money to rush down the aisle. I do want to get married but I also want to say” I do” as a happy, content and complete woman. I don’t want to rely on a man to make me happy, but to simply enjoy with him the happiness I have created within myself. We need as women to stand on our own two feet and build a life that we can have as our own and share with our partners.
For the men out there who might think these beliefs to be feministic or a little too independent, think of it this way – would you prefer to marry the love of your life, straight away, only to wake up in a few years to a wife that is feeling she wants more from her life, or wait and marry the women who is content with everything she has done and achieved and has no regrets? Happy life, happy wife? It is important that men support this new wave of alpha women and see their strength as not only a benefits but attractive. It is also important that women support each other in their fight for the top. We can also sometimes be our own worst enemies and isn’t life hard enough?
The main message in this really is to do what you want to do and what makes you happy, not what you think you should do or what society says is “right”. I not only support the alpha female but I support all females in their decision, as long as their decisions are truly theirs.
The research was conducted by Universal Sony Pictures Home Entertainment to mark the DVD release of The Five-Year Engagement.
Dr Nikki Goldstein has a Bachelor in Psychology, a Postgraduate Diploma in Counseling and a Doctorate of Human Sexuality and is fast becoming Australia's most in demand relationship expert.
Which you would choose if you had to make the choice again (or if you haven't made it yet) – career or marriage?