by JOSH YOUNG
If you have traded in your job, recently become unemployed or swapped roles with the wife your new position as stay at home dad can be a daunting proposition. Here in Australia gender roles are pretty clearly defined. You’re a bloke. You work. You drink beer. You watch footy. You hunt wild boar. In our culture the role a dad is to play in our kids life remains unclear. We may see the hulking sportsman taking his kids for a lap around the field after a finals win or watch the poli’s parade their groomed kids for the media but in terms of what’s expected there is little info out there.
Over generations of breeding the ladies have passed on secrets, created networks and established stereotypes of what it is to be a “good mum”. The new role of stay at home dad is, in a way, uncharted territory. The full time dad role cannot be simply cut and pasted from what women have been doing as you are not a woman. You are a bloke. You still work. You still drink beer. You still watch the footy. You never actually hunted wild boar anyway.
So go forth Pioneer. The path won’t be easy. While you will not get the same satisfaction from landing a new account or wrapping up a lucrative project the rewards are there. You just need to realise they’re different.
1. You’re Still Working
Every dismissed female in history who compared being a mum to working can get some sense of relief knowing that there are a few men now starting to get their point. If you thought you were going to be able to just lounge around and play Xbox all day then sadly you’re mistaken. Along with keeping your livestock clean, fed and away from sharp objects you will, depending on your contract, have to be doing a certain amount of work around the house as well. If you actually tap into the fact that you are at work you can hush the chorus of “I told you so” and tackle housekeeping head on. Transfer your daily work routine across to your new role. Get up, look sharp, have your coffee, list daily objectives and hustle. Spreadsheets, to-do lists and drive will get the house and kids in order quickly and easily which means that you can then lounge around and play Xbox.
Top Comments
I just found this article after doing a Google search. I've been a SAHD for a year now. Twelve months ago, about three months after my wife gave birth to our third child, I was unexpectedly made redundant. We decided whoever got a job first would work and the other would stay at home.
I have to say that being a SAHD has been soul destroying. I feel like I have lost my identity through this. I miss being an adult. I miss going to work. I miss earning money. I miss providing. I miss being able to surprise my wife.
I hate that I feel this way. The logical person in me says that SAHMs and other SAHDs must feel the same but I don't see any articles like that. All I see are articles from people saying how wonderful it is.
I hate it. I love my family but this isn't the life that I signed up for. And it's not like the job opportunities are about to rise with my family responsibilities restricting my movements.
Now I understand why some people just end it all.
Great article. Look forward to more. Check out Dudes Group GC on Facebook.