My teenager blames me for everything.
Everything that happens is my fault. And it’s not even funny. It’s really really upsetting.
Overnight I have gone from being the most incredible person in the whole wide world in his eyes, to something stuck to the bottom of his shoe, unless he is sick or hungry.
Then I graduate to being seen as a slave and fool that I am, I run around doing stuff for him because I LOVE HIM!
And it’s not fair because my son isn’t even officially a teenager yet. Not for another 1 month, 3 days, 14 hours, 40 minutes and 45 seconds.
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I mean, I knew it was coming. I’m not naive. I just thought I had more time up my sleeves to prepare.
Not that I know how you would even begin to prepare for being hated by someone you love. Actually it’s not hate. It’s disdain.
Complete and utter disdain.
So far this week he has blamed me for:
1. The weather.
It was too humid and he stomped into the kitchen and said, “Mum, it’s too hot,” and so I said, “Okay, I’ll just turn the humidity down on the weather machine” and he rolled his eyes and stomped back out.
And I spent a few minutes in the kitchen doing breathing exercises because it was only 7.23 am and I was trying to figure out what had happened to my life.
2. It being Wednesday.
Apparently he doesn’t like Wednesdays. Welcome to the club. And when he asked me, “Mum, what day is it today?” And then I said, “Wednesday”, he looked at me as if to say, “How could you!”
And then I heard him banging things in his room and assumed he was packing whatever it was he needed for the dreaded Wednesday he now faced.
3. The $2 being so small.
My son needed a $2 coin for something and asked me for one. I thought I had seen one at the bottom of my bag and so I told him to look there.
He grabbed my handbag and started looking through it, making a huge mess while I bit my tongue at the thought of how my items were being treated. There was a lot of sighing. He found it eventually but instead of a thank you said to me, “Why are $2 coins so small?” And then stomped out of the room.
4. Being born in the 21st century.
Yes, this actually happened.
We were talking about science and technology, one of the only topics he’ll discuss with me these days without it ending in a fight, and we were talking about colonising Mars and what the future will look like and his mood just turned and he said, “I wish I wasn’t born now.” Then turning an accusing stare in my direction, “Why did I have to be born now?” Stomps out of the room.
The very existence of school, is apparently my fault.
"Why do I have to go to school," he says most mornings. "Why does there even have to be school? It's so dumb. I shouldn't even have to go." And all of this is flung in my direction as though I had anything to do with the invention of school and the power to undo the entire education system.
They were the highlights so far but there was plenty more. I was also blamed for:
6. His school bag being so heavy;
7. The fact he has to wait to cross the road in front of our house;
8. Spider webs;
9. The toilet not being flushed;
10. Not having milk;
11. The clothes horse being in the middle of the lounge room as I tried to dry clothes in wet weather;
12. His school uniform being so uncomfortable;
13. How much homework he has;
14. The fact his dad just said something annoying;
15. The WiFi cutting out during a storm;
16. Our budgies making too much noise while he tried to film a YouTube video;
17. His hair not sitting right;
18. The music of One Direction.
And it's only Thursday. There's still the rest of today, Friday, Saturday and Sunday for him to give me plenty more to add to this list.
So much more.
I know he can't control it, that he's moody and hormonal and is only like this with me because he knows how much I love him and he knows nothing he can do or say will make me love him any less.
I know that.
I just wish he didn't know that. Then maybe I'd be blamed for a little less and we can focus on the things I can actually fix.
With the biggest thing that needs fixing at the moment being my highly irritable and irritated teenage son.
Parents of teenagers translated.
What are some of the things your teenager has blamed you for? What did you blame your parents for when you were a teenager? Share your story in the Comments below.